


I Am Here

by broodywolf



Series: Marian and Fenris [6]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 22:33:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4454987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broodywolf/pseuds/broodywolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr prompt: It's the first anniversary of Leandra's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am Here

Fenris hadn’t seen Hawke all day. He knew he shouldn’t be concerned, but ever since she had forgiven him, since she had allowed him to return to her side and to her bed, he had spent most of his time in her company. Passing time alone in his mansion should not have felt so strange, but it had. It had been a relief to leave for the Hanged Man for Wicked Grace. Besides, Hawke would be there. Even after such a relatively short separation from her, he found himself picking up the pace to reach the tavern sooner.

When he arrived at last, crossing the room to their usual spot, his eyes immediately went to Hawke’s place at the head of the table… which was empty. He frowned.

“Where is Hawke?”

There was silence around the table as most everyone looked down to avoid his eyes. Varric was the only one to meet his questioning look, and there was a sadness in the dwarf’s eyes that Fenris did not expect.

“You… you don’t know?” When Fenris continued to look confused, Varric continued, “It’s been a year. Since… since Leandra.”

 _Oh._ How could he have been so stupid? When he thought about it now… Hawke had been unusually quiet all week. He’d attributed the uncharacteristic quietness to fatigue, figuring the stress of dealing with Meredith and Orsino had to be taking its toll on her. And if she’d held him a little tighter at night, who was he to object? The thought that she had been hurting all this time, and he had been completely oblivious to her pain… he clenched his fists as a familiar little voice started up in the back of his mind. _She deserves better, you fool. You’ll never be anything more than a slave, how could you possibly think yourself worthy of her? You should just leave now, before you do any more damage._

No! He had made his choice. He had chosen her, chosen to be with her and all of the things that entailed. He could do this, he could be there for her now.

“I should go,” he said abruptly, as he pivoted to exit the tavern the way he came. The meandering way back to Hightown took much too long, and he spent the whole walk berating himself for not being there for Hawke sooner, knowing every second only added to the time she would spend alone in her grief. He had been _such a fool._ But no longer. He would do whatever it took to be worthy of her.

When he finally reached her estate, he wasted no time crossing the foyer and climbing the stairs to reach Hawke’s room on the second floor. He hesitated only momentarily outside her door before carefully opening it and slipping inside.

“Hawke?”

She was curled in an armchair on the far side of the room from him, staring blankly out the window. She made no sign of having noticed his entrance.

“I… I am so sorry I did not know. I should have been here for you, I should have…” he trailed off, unsure. Hawke still had not moved. “Perhaps it means little, but I am here now. Unless… unless you’d like me to go?”

“Please don’t,” Hawke spoke finally, and it killed him to hear her voice become so small. In that moment, he wished fiercely that that bastard Quentin were still alive so he could kill him all over again, slowly. _Painfully._

When Hawke finally looked at him, her eyes were wet with tears and though he still didn’t know what to say, he closed the distance between them to gather her into his arms. He picked her up gently, and carried her across the room to the bed. He set her down and climbed in beside her, pulling her close to his chest and holding her in his arms.

“I thought it would get easier,” she sobbed. “What am I supposed to do, Fenris?”

His heart ached for her, but he had no words that could ease her pain. All he could do was make sure that she didn’t have to face it alone, so he held her more tightly, planted a kiss in her hair, and gave her the only answer he had.

“I do not know, but… I am here. And I always will be.”

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr: broodywolf.tumblr.com


End file.
